Everything Is Made To Be Broken
by BreeanneAlikay
Summary: This story will be in chapters! Charlie talks to Patrick about the dreams he has been having about his Aunt Helen. Patrick tries to help Charlie feel better and "participate". I also still suck at summaries. I recommend listening to Slower by Mineral while reading this.Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Dear friend,

I know that I promised that I would never take LSD again but there was a party on the weekend and I was starting to feel like I used to again. I didn't want to think. I've been thinking way too much lately. So when Mary Elizabeth offered some I said yes. I ended up sitting on the couch in Patricks and Sam's house staring at the wall as it spun and twirled. Nothing turned into a dragon so I suppose it was better than last time. I hadn't realised but everyone had left, except for Patrick. Sam had gone to Craig's house. I'm not going to talk about what I knew they were going to do. I think that you will be able to assume that. Patrick saw me sitting on the couch and sat next to me, placing his arm around my shoulder.

"You okay Charlie?" He said tightening his grip around me, shaking me slightly

"Uh-huh"

"How do you feel?"

I turned to stare at him; he had a slightly worried expression plastered on his face "Better than before"

He smiled as he stood up, extending his hand "C'mon Charlie, you should sleep" I grabbed his hand and he helped pull me to my feet.

He led me up to his room and guided me to his bed. I laid on his bed as he pulled the blanket over me, tucking me in. It reminded me of when I was younger and my Aunt Helen would tuck me in at night and sing me to sleep. I would always tell her I wasn't tired but she insisted that I sleep, so I would. I loved my Aunt Helen too much to try to argue with her, though she would win if I did. My train of thought was interrupted by Patrick's fingers lightly tracing my forehead and cheek as he moved my hair from my face. I stared at him and he smiled, so I smiled back. We were like that for a while until Patrick's train of thought was obviously interrupted and he moved his hand from my cheek to his side. He stood up and started to make his way to the door.

"Patrick"

He spun around on his heels to face me "What's wrong Charlie?"

"Stay"

He did the half smile he does, the one that is only lifted from one side of his mouth, and made his way back to the bed. He leaned over me "I will Charlie I just need to get some stuff done". He kissed my forehead and walked back to the door saying "Just go to sleep and when you wake up I'll be here, Okay?" before turning off the light and shutting the door, not completely but enough so that a little bit of light shone through.

I shut my eyes and tried to sleep but it was really hard, especially since I started to see things moving in the dark again. I just wanted Patrick to be here, the things didn't move when he was here. Maybe they were scared of him. Though I don't think anyone could be scared of Patrick.

Eventually I fell asleep in Patrick's bed. His bed was soft but it wasn't as comfortable as mine. That being said no bed is more comfortable than your own.

I suddenly jolted up and found myself, slightly sobered, in Patrick's bed. He rubbed his eyes and groaned as I started to violently sob.

"Charlie"He sat up properly and saw that I was crying. He immediately pulled me into a tight embrace, letting my head rest on his chest "It's okay" he whispered as he ran his fingers through my hair.

Once I calmed down a little, Patrick sat me up so that he could see my face and spoke slow and deeper than I had ever heard him speak "Charlie, I would ask you what's wrong, but I'm not even sure you know." At first I wasn't sure what he meant by that but now I think I know. "That being said, you can tell me anything you want or need to tell me. I really care for you."

He really cared for me and I knew he really meant it. That's when I knew it was the right time. I stared into his dark brown eyes before closing my own eyes and explaining the dream I had just had. One that I have been having a lot lately. The one of when I'm little and up late with my Aunt Helen. Patrick just sat there and listened to me until I had told him everything.

"I'm so sorry Charlie" He had said this so quietly that I almost didn't hear it.

"Can I go back to sleep" I said, wiping my eyes of the dampness around them and sniffling.

Patrick nodded and I lay back down on the bed. I felt him get closer to me as he wrapped his hand around my body and nuzzled his face into my neck. I relaxed then. I fell back to sleep with the warmth of Patricks body against mine and the tickling of his lips lightly grazing my neck.

For once I felt safe.

Love always,

Charlie


	2. Chapter 2

Dear friend,

I'm sorry I haven't wrote to you in a while, I've been a bit busy participating. Patrick has been spending a lot more time with me since the last time I wrote to you. He has shown me all the places he goes with Brad, like the golf course. It felt kind of special that he showed something so intimate between him and Brad to me. Patrick is so funny and friendly, I really love spending time with him.

I've been debating whether or not to tell you this but considering she said you listen and understand and didn't try to sleep with that person even though you could have, I feel you should know.

As I told you before, Patrick took me to the golf course. We sat on the eighteenth green and he lit a cigarette, handing it to me before lighting his own. Bob had clearly taught him about cigarette etiquette as well. We sat in silence, until Patrick broke it.

"Charlie?" His face was very serious.

"Yeah"

"Have you told anyone else about the dreams?"

I was playing with a loose thread on my jumper, trying to avoid answering the question. Patrick had said he cared though, so I did. "Only you know"

He let out a sigh "Charlie"

"Yeah"

"I think you should tell someone who can help in ways that I can't"

I stopped playing with the thread to look at him "You are helping me"

Patrick chuckled lightly "How Charlie?"

"You're helping me participate"

Patrick smiled at that but it wasn't a typical smile. It was the kind of smile that was mostly in the eyes. The slight shine in the eyes that lets you know they're okay.

Patrick chuckled again "God Charlie, you're a mess."

I chuckled as well this time "You are too."

He grinned at me "Maybe that's why we're so perfect for each other"

"Maybe"

Patrick moved closer to me then. His face was a lot closer to mine also. "You're a good guy Charlie"

I wasn't sure what to say to that, so I stuck to a safe "Thank you" and "So are you"

He then moved in closer and kissed me. His lips were a lot softer than I thought they would be. Not that I thought about kissing Patrick. Well, I didn't think about it often.

He moved his hand to cup my cheek and I shut my eyes as he let out a quiet noise. I kissed him back. He pulled back and shook his head. He was mumbling curses and apologizes as I trailed slowly into thought. Patrick was the second person I had ever kissed, after Sam. The kiss was as perfect as the first time, maybe even better. I hadn't let myself decide yet.

That's when I moved in to kiss him again. He stopped talking a second after I did and kissed me back. It wasn't rushed or needy, it was slow and giving more than taking. I personally haven't had much experience when it comes to kissing but I think that the kiss would count as a good one, a really good one.

After what seemed like a while Patrick pulled back and smiled slightly. "I think its about time I take you home Charlie"

I nodded my head and we got into car. We didn't speak much as the radio was blasting another mix tape I had made Patrick. Half way through the ride I moved my gaze from out the window over to Patrick to find him trying to hide a large grin. That's when I knew I didn't need to say anything. Everything had already been said.

That night I had a dream like the one I did about Sam at the beginning of the school year. Only this time Patrick was in it and I was the one on the bottom. Patrick was on top of me and we were kissing. I don't think I need to tell you the rest because I explained the dream with Sam to you already. All you need to know is that that morning I needed to "relieve" myself. It was also very awkward for me at school

Love always,

Charlie


	3. Chapter 3

Dear friend,

A lot has happened since I last wrote to you and I'm sorry I hadn't written sooner.

I'm not sure whether I've told you this but I think Patrick might have a drinking problem. Of course as a senior you would expect some drinking but he drinks a lot for his age. I had thought about this all before but it never really occurred to me until two nights ago.

I was waiting beside my bedroom window, checking every second for Patrick's car. I was starting to get a little worried and it was almost an hour past the time Patrick usually gets to my house so I called him. When he didn't answer I got even more worried and I started to panic. I tried to calm myself down and write to you but I was shaking and I kept seeing things, the way I used to before. It reminded of what happened with Aunt Helen and when I was reminded of that I started to panic even more. That's when I decided that I was going to walk over to Patrick and Sam's house. I thought the walk might calm me down anyway.

When I arrived at their house the car was parked just outside so my anxiety subsided. However a whole heap of other emotions flooded through me all at once and it took a lot of strength just to knock on their front door. When I did Sam opened the door, smiling her wide, comforting smile.

"Is Patrick home?"

"No 'Hi Sam how are you doing'?"

"Hi Sam, how are you doing? Is Patrick home?"

Sam rolled her eyes "I'm fine, thank you Charlie and yes he is up in his room"

I started to walk into the house and up the stairs to Patrick's bedroom when Sam called up to me "Charlie I don't think you sh-"

"It's fine" I said ignoring her and continuing to walk up the stairs.

I really wish I had listened to Sam. Also let me tell you; whoever said ignorance is bliss? They were very right.

I opened the door of Patrick's bedroom to find a boy sitting on Patrick's bed, with his head thrown back and Patrick between his legs, again I feel you can assume what was happening. I gasped, apparently quite loudly too because the boy opened his eyes and squealed.

"Wha-" Patrick slurred as he turned to see me standing in his doorway. There were a couple of bottles of wine and beer scattered around the bedroom floor. "Fuck. Charlie!" He shouted but I had already started to swiftly make my way down the stairs and out the front door, ignoring Sam calling out to me as I walked straight past her.

Once I was quite further down the street I started to sob. That was when I realized that the last time I cried like that was when I was in Patrick's bed and he had comforted me.

At that moment I felt so alone. I kept seeing things and my heart was racing but I just kept walking. I thought maybe walking would help. I wasn't sure where I was walking but I continued to do it. After what seemed like forever I stopped and looked around. I had no idea where I was but I knew I was far from home.

Now that I'm reading this, looking back at it, my life is one massive cliché. The kind that you read and sigh while rolling your eyes. I hope, however, that you haven't yet sighed and rolled your eyes because this is my life. My life is one massive cliché.

Anyway, when I realized I had no idea where I was I stepped off the sidewalk to collapse onto someone's front lawn. The grass was damp and I'm pretty sure some sticks were poking into my stomach but I was so drained, physically and emotionally, that I really didn't care. I fell asleep pretty quickly.

I woke to the sound of the guitar riff for "Smells like teen spirit" and the comfort of a car seat. I groaned and sat up, taking in the surroundings. I slowly moved my gaze across the car to find myself staring at the person sitting in the driver's seat, who was staring straight back at me.

"How did you manage to get that far from the house by foot Charlie?"

I didn't answer

"I drove all night trying to find you"

I continued to ignore everything that was being said

"Are you okay Charlie? You looked li-"

"Why" I said as I moved my gaze to straight ahead

I take it you now have guessed the driver was Patrick. If you did, which I'm sure you did as you are quite an intelligent person, you are right. Later on Sam had told me the minute I left he started to freak out and immediately got into his car, intoxicated, to try and find me. When he couldn't he called Sam. She said he was hysterical and she thought that, by the sound of his voice, he may have been crying.

"I wish I could tell you why Charlie" Patrick answered "But I don't even know"

I nodded as Asleep started to play throughout the car. I laughed at the chances of that playing, as did Patrick.

"How about I take you out to lunch and we can talk about all of this" He moved his stare from the road to look at me and some how I found it reassuring.

"Okay" and that was the last thing I said during the ride.

I'm still very confused about everything that is going on between Patrick and me. I don't know why I was so upset to find him in the situation he was in. I don't know why I have dreams about him, the way I did about Sam. I don't know why I felt a tingle in my stomach when he kissed me, or why I kissed him back. I also don't know whether or not I even like boys. All I know is that I like Patrick and no matter what, that is all that should matter. Not social standards, sexuality, people who don't like me kissing people of the same gender, labels or high school. None of it matters. Patrick's the only boy I've had 'feelings for' and I'm okay with that.

Love always,

Charlie

**(*A/N*) This isn't the last chapter (though it is the longest) and I will be continuing this story for as long as it needs to be. This chapter definitely has a sort of "message" to it which I've always wanted to get across. Sexuality shouldn't be what you are defined by as a person. Who you like doesn't determine your personality. You shouldn't feel as though you need to change yourself to fit into these labels. Sorry for trying to be wise but it is a point I need to get across. Also I would just like to thank you for the reviews! I really love reading feedback and it motivates me to continue writing for you all so thank you :) Another thing is that if you see the story slightly changing it is because I am currently reading "We need to talk about Kevin" which is written in a completely different light to Perks. So I'm trying to stay as quirky Charlie while reading from the view point of cynical Eva. Anyway thank you all for reading and I hope you have a great day/night. **


	4. Chapter 4

Dear friend,

I just realised that in my last letter I completely skipped the lunch Patrick and I had together the day after I discovered him with a boy. Turns out that boy was someone he had met a while back at a group for teens questioning their sexuality. He bumped into him at a mall and they got talking. When I caught them, however, there wasn't much talking going on.

Patrick took me to a diner just outside of town that I had never been to before and when we went inside it was practically empty. Patrick said that it was always very quiet here, so it was a good place to talk. I had expected Patrick to avoid talking as often as possible and to bombard me with food to stop me from talking. However, the minute we sat and he ordered both of a us a coke, he initiated the conversation.

"Charlie I understand that you are probably confused and that you have a lot of questions"

I nod my head

"I just want you to know that I will answer anything and everything you have to ask" he moved his head to mumble to the table "I owe you that much"

The waitress, a slim lady who seemed too young to look so old, handed us each our drinks as both Patrick and I mumbled a thank you. I stared at him as I sipped my drink and he rested his chin on his palm.

"You and Brad" I started, Patricks face soured "I thought you two.."

"We're 'on the rocks' as they say" he took a sip from his drink

"So was the thing that you and that boy.,.." suddenly his name has fazed me

"Benjamin" Patrick slurred

"Benjamin" I confirmed "Was that a sort of rebound"

He pondered what I had just said "I suppose"

"Was I a rebound?" I whispered into the table

Patrick's face softened and he moved his hand on top of mine on the table, stroking it soothingly with his thumb "No! No! No!" He moved his face so that he could look me in the eye "Charlie when I kissed you, I meant it. Blowing some guy I just saw after a while when I was drunk was stupid and childish and I'm sorry"

I looked up at him. His face was sincere and his eyes were wide. Every laugh line had softened and suddenly his hand on mine had a more prominent feeling. Suddenly everything felt okay. It all felt right.

"I think I might love you" I slurred out, without thinking.

Patrick's face suddenly lit up and he chuckled lightly "Only you could tell someone you love them so sincerely in complete doubt Charlie" He moved his hand so that it was now holding mine "I guess that's why I loved you too" He smiled, a closed mouth smile, and it was beautiful. He was beautiful.

The same waitress that has served us our drinks previously cleared her throat and Patrick's hand shot out of mine "Would you like to order some food or are you content with your sugar in a can?" she seemed to hiss bitterly.

"As much as our 'sugar in a can' would suffice" Patrick became very articulate when he was trying to outsmart or condescend someone "but I think my friend and I would like to order a large pizza, in celebration"

"Celebration for what?" I laughed lightly

"Well our love of course, my dear Charles" Patrick turned to the waitress "Did you not hear our declaration of love?"

The waitress rolled her eyes, sighing and took the order.

Patrick turned to smile at me as we both laughed, the waitress walking out of our peripheral vision.

Once we had finished our food, we wasted no time getting to the car and driving away from the diner.

"Charlie I need you to understand" Patrick stated as he turned down the volume of the radio "things with me are messy. Very messy. So this isn't going to be easy for either of us."

"So are we like" I started to pick at my hands and Patrick swiped his hand at mine to stop me from doing so "together?"

Patrick took a deep breath and hit the brakes as we reached a red light. "I need to stop being together with one person, to be together with another"

"Oh"

"But" Patrick said raising a finger "once I end that, which I will tonight, we can be" He stared at me and half smiled "together"

I tried to hide me grin in my hands as the light changed and Patrick started to drive once again.

Once Patrick dropped me home he told me that he would call me the minute he was done breaking up with Brad. He also told me to be careful and, again, that he loved me.

It was quite late by the time I got home and my parents lectured me for what must have been at least an hour! Once they were done with the stern talking I went up to my room and waited by the phone for Patrick's call.

I'm not sure what time it was when he called, but it was late.

"Hey Charlie" His voice sounded hoarse

"Did you do it"

"Mhmm"

"So we're" I swallowed the lump in my throat "together"

"Are you sure you want this Charlie"

"More sure than I have ever been in my entire life"

Patrick laughed "Well Okay then" I heard rustling as he must have been shuffling around in his bed "I just want you to know that I don't fuck until at least the third date"

I giggled "How did Brad take it"

Patrick sighed heavily "Not excellently, he seemed upset" There was more rustling "but for once I told him the truth about everything, so my conscience is relatively clear"

We spoke until the early hours of the next day about music and our past. We mostly spoke about Patrick's past as I didn't really want to go very much into mine, but he didn't seem to mind, talking about how he was a 'ladies man' when he was in elementary school.

Everything I do is so natural when I'm around Patrick. All of my actions and words aren't forced. We bask in silence, when there is some, as just being around each other and feeling each others warmth is enough. I think this is what love is like. Even if it isn't, this is what I believe love is.

I want to tell everyone! I love Patrick! I love Patrick!

Love always,

Charlie


	5. Chapter 5

Dear friend,

Patrick and I have told all of our friends that we are now "together" and they all were very supportive, especially Sam. She said that she knew a lot of queer support groups and if I ever needed to talk about anything she would be there. She also said that I shouldn't define myself as 'gay' if I don't believe that I am and that I should just be me. I honestly haven't felt more like 'me' than I do now and it's really great. The only people that we hadn't told yet were my parents, but I will go more into that later.

Patrick and I have been really open with our relationship, even at school. We don't kiss in the hallway or anything like that but Patrick walks me to class and holds my hand. He also hugs me and kisses my cheek before I go into class. No one has really said anything except for the football team, especially Brad. If they see us walking together, holding hands, they scream at us things like "faggots" or "poofs". Patrick tells me not to listen to them and not to let it bother me. I'm very lucky to have someone who can comfort me when things like that happen because Patrick never did when he first came out and I know that it really hurt him.

We've been taking our relationship slow and for the first couple of weeks we hadn't even kissed on the lips. It was only last night, when he snuck into my bedroom, that we finally kissed.

I had heard a tapping at my window and when I finally came to my senses, after being woken up, I saw Patrick waving and motioning me to let him in.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered closing the window as Patrick went to sit on my bed

"I wanted to see you" He smiled

"At" I turned to the clock on my bedside table "2 am"

Patrick shrugged and positioned himself so that he was lying on his back on my bed.

I moved to sit on the edge of the bed, next to him. He sat up on his elbows, his gaze drifting over my body as he smiled. I shuffled uncomfortably where I sat, not sure what to do.

"Come here Charlie" Patrick whispered, his voice as hoarse as it was the night he called me after ending his relationship with Brad "lie down"

I moved to lie next to Patrick, curving my body sideways to fit into his, placing my head in the crook of his neck. He smelt nice, familiar. It was comforting.

"You know why I love you so much Charlie?"

"mm" my hum was muffled by his skin

"You don't need to drink to love me" Patrick whispered into my hair "and you don't feel the need to hide it"

I looked up at Patrick "Why would I want to hide it"

Patrick smiled and moved his mouth down to mine. He moved his lips slowly against mine, as I did the same. I moaned softly as he traced my lower lip with his tongue, as though politely asking for entrance. I granted him entrance. I moved my hand to behind his neck as we kissed.

He moved his kisses down my neck, stopping for a while to suck and bite at the skin lightly. My breathing had fastened at this point and I had just closed my eyes in bliss when I heard someone walking near my room. Patrick clearly had too as he had quickly stopped kissing and moved underneath the bed. He must have hit something when trying to manoeuvre himself under the bed as I heard an "Ow! Fuck".

I heard a knock at my door and answered with a safe "Come in". It was my mom. She said that she had heard some groaning and rustling, and that she thought I might have been having a nightmare or that I had hurt myself. I told her I had just had a bit of bad dream that I didn't really want to talk about and she said as long as I was okay and left my room. I felt really bad for lying to my mom but I couldn't tell her the truth. Not yet at least.

I told Patrick he could come out from underneath my bed and that it was late and he should probably go home. He understood and kissed me on the temple before going out the window.

I was going to tell you about talking to my parents but I'm being called down to a 'family meeting' which I'll probably also tell you about. My Dad's getting impatient, so I'll speak to you soon.

Love always,

Charlie

**(A/N) Hello again. Just thought I'd inform you all that this story has hit 1000+ views! I just wanted to thank you all for reading and reviewing. Its so amazing when people like your writing and considering I wasn't even going to put this online makes it even cooler. I'm still not sure how long this story will be, I'm really just going with the flow here, so I hope you all keep reading and enjoy what I come up with. I'm not sure what to do in celebration of the views, so If you have any ideas just tell me! Also just so you all know I will most likely be doing a Bill/Charlie fanfiction once I'm done with this one :) Thanks for reading and please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

Dear friend,

I'm sorry for the way I ended the last letter but I was rushed. I hope you didn't mind, I'm sure you didn't.

The day after Patrick snuck into my room I rang him and asked him to come over. The night before I had though a lot after he left and had come to a decision. I decided that I was going to tell my parents about Patrick and I. I honestly wasn't very sure how they would take it but I thought that as long as I had Patrick there for support, I would be okay. It would all be okay.

When Patrick arrived I told my family to come into the lounge room for a 'family talk' in ten minutes.

"Are you sure about this Charlie?" Patrick said quietly while fixing my tie "I mean, there's no rush. You can wait"

"No, I'm ready" I said smiling as Patrick did the same "It's feels right"

"As long as you're happy" He said, turning to smile at my Mom and Dad as they entered the room.

"Wow Charlie" my Mom exclaimed, placing herself on the lounge "You look very handsome"

"What is it you wanted to talk to us about, Son?" my Dad was always one to get straight to the point. Whether it be concerning my grades or talking about sex.

"Well uh" I turned to Patrick and he placed his hand on the small of my back "Patrick and I um" Patrick's hand slid back to his side. "Patrick and I are together" I exclaimed grabbing his hand "and I really love him". Patrick turned his face to me, smiling like an idiot.

"What?" my Dad said staring straight into my eyes "Charlie you're too young to be deciding your sexuality. You're just confused"

"Maybe but I'm not confused about how I feel about Patrick"

"Look" my Dad stood up, walking slowly over to where Patrick and I stood "I don't mind you going through a" He cleared his throat "_phase_. Just be careful and Patrick" He turned to face him, I could feel Patrick's palm start to sweat "If you hurt my boy," He moved in closer to Patrick's ear "_I will find you_"

"Yes Sir" Patrick stuttered

"Good" He said and then left the room

My mom stood up and walked over to me, immediately hugging me "I'll love you no matter what Charlie"

"Thanks Mom" I smiled "I love you too"

She turned to Patrick, nodding, and he did the same.

"So" Patrick sighed as my Mom left the room "That went well"

"Better than expected" I laughed

"You wanna hang at my place for a bit?" He said raising an eyebrow "I can make you a milkshake"

I laughed "Yeah I'd love to"

"Good" Patrick muttered, moving his face close to mine. He lightly placed his lips upon mine as I felt his eyelashes flutter on my skin "C'mon lets go"

When we got to Patrick's he immediately led me up to his room and we sat on the bed.

"So are you gonna have to tell the rest of the family or are your parents gonna do that for you?"

"I don't know" I said, scratching the back of my neck "I hadn't really thought that far to be honest"

"Fair enough" Patrick slurred under his breath as he guided me to lay my head in his lap. He brushed his hands through my hair, moving it from my face and lightly tracing my skin.

"I love you" I whispered as my eye lids started getting heavy

"I love you too Charlie" he said tracing his finger across my face

I woke up to the warm of Patrick around me. My head was on his chest as it rose and fell with every breath he took. I moved closer to him, wrapping my leg around his and placing my arm across his torso.

"You awake?" I heard him mumble from above me

"Yeah" I spoke into his shirt, making my way up to face him

"Mmm I'm glad" He smiled, moving his lips closer to mine

Once again I'm sorry to leave this as a cliff hanger but I need to get to school and I am probably going to be late anyway. I hope you will forgive me. I will tell you all in the next letter.

Love always,

Charlie


	7. UPDATE ON UPDATES read for info

Just thought I would inform you all about whats going down so you aren't confused.

The next chapter of EIMTBB will be the final chapter

This chapter will be the longest and probably most detailed. All of the chapters were leading up to the events that will happen.

So please sit tight because it will be updated but it will take a little bit longer as I want to make it perfect.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I really very much appreciate it and I hope that you will keep up with my writing when I start a new fic.

See you soon xx


	8. FINALE

**(A/N) So here we are. I'll admit, I'm a little upset to be ending this but as they say, all good things must come to an end. It's been really amazing reading all the feedback and having all these people reading my work. I read all your reviews and I am grateful for every one of them. I'm not going away forever and I will be working on other stories. I'm also taking requests. So if you wont something written for you (you can even include yourself in it as a character) either leave a review or message telling me what you want. Anyway I'll see you at the end of the story. ENJOY!**

Dear friend,

It's nice writing to you again. It's been a while and I had almost forgotten how 'therapeutic' it is. Almost. Things have been a lot better with school and friends, also my family. They have been by my side through everything and it's really nice to know they care.

I suppose you're wondering what's been happening between Patrick and I. We're still together and we see each other as often as we can. After graduation we couldn't see each other as much as we used to, obviously, but we make an effort to find time for each other.

I know I'm putting off finishing about what I had explained in the last letter. I hope you don't mind me sharing, though I'm sure you won't. You're a good person. I know it!

Okay so where was I? That's right.

"You awake?" I heard him mumble from above me

"Yeah" I spoke into his shirt, making my way up to face him

"Mmm I'm glad" He smiled, moving his lips closer to mine

I smiled just before he began to slowly kiss me. I don't know why but this kiss felt different. Not that it felt bad, it actually felt the complete opposite. It was amazing, though it was no different to the other times we had kissed, it was special.

I moved so that I was laying on top of Patrick, straddling his thighs as we continued to kiss.

That's when it hit me.

The dreams with my Aunt Helen were flashing in front of me. No matter what I did, close my eyes or rub them, they wouldn't stop. She wouldn't stop. Why wouldn't she stop? I just wanted her to stop. She kept touching me and I didn't want to be touched.

"Charlie what's wrong" Patrick breathed as my tears rolled down my face, landing on his.

He sat me to sit on his lap, rocking me back and forth and rubbing my back.

I felt so dirty. I had always felt weird in my body but this was different. I wanted to burn off my skin and start fresh. I wanted to scrape it all off, remove any trace of her or of me. At that point, I really wanted to die.

"Charlie stop. Don't please." Patrick's voice was shaking as he tried to remove my fingers from my bleeding arms. I hadn't even realized that I was dragging my nails across the flesh of my arm. They were raw and stingy, as the small blood spots started to appear.

"I have to do it Patrick. Just…Just let me do it please. I need to" I mumbled, fighting Patrick's restraints.

I couldn't breathe and everything around me was spinning. There was a ringing in my ears as I fell back onto the bed, my breathing faster than ever. I saw Patrick leaning in front of me but I couldn't hear him. My eyelids got heavy as I slowly succumbed to their weight, closing my eyes. Hoping I wouldn't have to open them ever again.

I awoke to the sound of my parent's voice. My eyes fluttered open, lying quickly on the first thing in my sight, Patrick. He smiled, giving my hand a squeeze. The room I was in was a blinding white, it was horrible.

I turned to Patrick, trying to hold my eyes open "It wasn't a dream"

His smile slowly faded, I was glad he understood because I was too weak to explain.

"Oh good, you're awake" My Dad announced, walking over to my bed with what must have been a doctor.

"How are you feeling Charlie?" the Doctor smiled

I grunted in response.

"We'll give you some rest Charlie" my Mom said, moving to the door, motioning Patrick to follow her.

He gave my hand one last squeeze before following my mom.

I followed them with my eyes, watching as they left the room and shut the door behind them. The doctor seemed to ask Patrick a question as he answered, shaking his head slightly. What he said must have hit a nerve, as my mom covered her mouth with her hand and my dad ran his fingers through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. They all then turned to face me. I wasn't sure what to do so I waved, making Charlie chuckle slightly.

I later found out that Patrick had told them about my "dreams" which weren't really dreams. I got taken to a place for people who have problems, like me. Not all of their Aunts were like mine though. Some really skinny people thought they were ugly so they wouldn't eat, one girl thought that Satan himself was coming to take her soul another boy had lots of cuts and burns on his body. They were all really nice people and I wish they could see that. I was really upset when I saw how much they were hurting. I have a friend there called Esther. Her Dad used to get drunk and hit her. She showed me some of her scars. She's really nice and Patrick thinks so too!

Patrick visits me as often as he can. As I said, after graduation it was harder due to college but he tries really hard. I really love him.

I won't be able to write to you as much now because we can't really send letters while we are in here. You've been really helpful and nice. I wanted to thank you for being here for me and listening to what I have to say. Also I would like to thank you once again for not trying to sleep with that person even though you could have. I appreciate it. You're a good person, I know it. I wish you good luck in your life and I hope whatever you decide to do with it makes you happy. I won't be able to write much longer because honestly, saying good bye makes me upset.

So I won't say good bye.

Maybe even when I get out, I'll write you a letter, if you want.

I'll miss this. I'll miss you.

Until next time, my friend.

-Charlie.

**(A/N) Plot twist or what. I'm considering eventually doing a sequel so if you want one, tell me or it will never happen! Please leave me one last review before you go. I want to know if you guys are happy with the ending. There was actually a completely different ending originally but I didn't want to be predictable. I hope you enjoyed the series and if you wanna come have a talk with me, message me on my tumblr " .com". Au Revoir.**


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